The Things You See When You've Got a Dog

Goodness me, it’s been a while since I penned my last blog. Things have been rather busy, so although I’ve had lots to talk about, finding the odd five minutes to sit down and compose this twaddle, sorry informative information, has been a little difficult. Anyway, we are back by popular demand, so let’s get underway & see what happens.

I was going to chat about the whole “dog is for life, not just Christmas” thing, but remembered that I covered the subject fully in Blog 2 and to be honest, I don’t think I could better that well crafted and may I say rather amusing piece (in other words, I can’t be bothered to think up a new way of talking about it!)

What I will talk about this time is Star Fish. Nature is a wonderful, but strange thing. While walking our dog last Sunday on Shellness beach I was amazed to see hundreds of Star Fish being washed up on the shore line. Now you would expect to see the odd one or two as you stroll from Muswell Manor to the Hamlet, but not the vast quantity we witnessed being washed up with the flotsam & jetsam. A year or so back, we noticed the same thing with Cuttlefish bones, and also large quantities of cockles, spread over the beaches like vast sand dunes, certainly welly boot deep. So the question is, what is it that causes these apparent mass Echinoderm beachings? Is it self inflicted, or the result of some man made problem, muscle bed trawling perhaps, or maybe a sudden drop in sea temperature? If anyone knows please enlighten me.

So what’s this got to do with dogs then? Well I’m glad you asked, you see if I hadn’t been exercising our dog (responsible dog ownership) I would never have seen this quirk of nature. Although dogs are a huge responsibility, the benefits they give us far out way the draw backs. They enrich our lives in so many ways, for example, over the average life of a dog, if you walk your dog just two miles a day you will have walked a total of 10220 miles. Having said that, your dog will also have excreted roughly 1020kg of dog mess, so remember to take your doggie bags with you, and dispose of the contents in an appropriate manner. By the way, if those two things don’t come naturally to you, the walking and clearing up of the mess bits, then please buy a goldfish or some other less taxing companion.

I’ve spoken about this many times, and probably will many times more, dogs don’t cause problems, it’s the owners, so if you have a dog at home, sorry, it’s your responsibility to ensure the dog doesn’t do anything that can have an adverse effect on other people. For example, if next doors fence blows down in the wind, it’s still up to you to make sure your dog cannot escape from your property. If you’re out walking your dog on these dark evenings, it’s your responsibility to make sure you have a torch with you so you can see where the dog does it’s doodoo’s, and clear up after it. After all, it’s not that difficult to be responsible is it?

As a quick footnote, although I’ve only just restarted the “dog blog”, this is probably the last one in this format. From January the new “super dog blog” should be up and running, so watch this space.

Channelled by a Higher Force?...

Today's blog is tomorrows chip wrapping.

I don't make a point of writing this blog, I have no deadlines, and never have to sit down and think, "what on earth can I write about this time". The topic just pops into my head , I sit down and write, a bit like John Ballou Newborough did when he wrote the Oahspe (try searching for that on-line if you've never heard of it). I am of course not claiming that my thoughts are being channelled to me by a higher force as he did; they just sort of appear ready formed, my only task being to convey them here in a semi literate form.

Often my thoughts centre around dog fouling, which makes great conversation over Sunday lunch at my mother in laws. Talking of my mother in law, I have an interesting collection of fake dog poo which I use for educational talks. Oh how we chuckle when I leave a lump of it under the slippers in her bedroom. She falls for it every time, "Oh Willow she cries, you naughty cat, why didn't you ask to go out". I really must get out more. Anyway, today my thoughts are centred around dog ownership.

Owning a dog is great, but not a right. It's a massive responsibility and commitment. The problem is that dogs are easy to get hold of, and therefore anyone can. It's not for me to preach here who should and should not be allowed to own dogs, I have my own views on that one, but as the friendly face of the council will certainly never comment, apart from in general terms. But clearly some people own dogs that I wouldn't trust looking after a pet rock.

The best tip I can give when it comes to dog ownership is to spend time leaning how dogs think. Get to understand their instincts, and how their social grouping has developed over millions of years. DOGS ARE PACK ANIMALS, sorry to shout but that is such an important point. In their mind they are not part of your family, you are all part of the same pack. Don't try to make a dog think like you, they can't learn English. They may learn tone of voice, pitch and body language, but they can't speak. To make a dog do what you want, you must learn "dog", not the other way round. (Yes I know some dogs say "Sausages", but it's not real language).

The pack must have a leader. I don't care who it is, as long as it's not the dog. If your dog sleeps on the bed, lays on the sofa, enters a room before you, pulls on the lead, begs for scraps when you're eating, then the chances are that it is the leader, and is controlling you. Dogs don't need to be leader, but if you allow them to be, they will gladly accept. So, it's simple, make sure the dog understands they are lower in the pack than the family.

In my opinion some of the main points to responsible dog ownership are:

• Think it though first; don't just buy a dog from a bloke in the pub, or a mate on the spur of the moment.
• Make sure you are able to give a dog the sort of healthy life style it needs, the top floor flat is probably not a good home for a German Shepherd, for example.
• Make sure you can afford to get the dog vaccinated, and you can afford ongoing veterinary treatment. It is now an offence under the Animal Welfare Act 2006 not to give any animal necessary veterinary treatment.
• Make sure the dog can experience a good pack life. Most dogs are not happy being left for hours and hours alone.
• Make sure you can give a dog enough exercise. Dogs need exercise, if you don't have time to walk them at least daily, don't get one.
• Don't let your dog cause a nuisance to others, don't let it stray, bark or foul.
• Always ensure your dog has an ID tag and collar in public places
• Get your dog micro-chipped.
• Make sure your dog has basic training, and understands its position in the pack.
• Make sure you can afford to give it a good diet.

The above are just the tip of the iceberg, if you can't commit to them; don't get a dog, simple.
Do I follow all of the above, you bet your sweet life I do, although my dog does sometimes sit on my lap, or lay beside me on the sofa, it is a treat, and not the norm. (Look, no ones perfect).

On a final note, we took Pup, our Jack Russell, and our young granddaughter for a walk along Shellness beach over the weekend. A lovely time was had by all, except that on the way back we did the usual granddad / granddaughter piggy back stuff. As she is only three, I did the piggy bit while she happily took on the role as back rider. This lasted for about five minutes until boredom took over when she carried on the walk on foot. "What on earth is that all over your white t-shirt" exclaimed the woman who keeps the dog warden sane. Dogs muck had been transferred from granddaughters welly onto granddads white t-shirt, so a really big thank you to the irresponsible thoughtless dog walker who couldn't be bothered to make use of the new dog poo bin at Shellness!

I love my job...

love my job. No it's true, I really do, and I genuinely believe it would be impossible to do if I didn't. Now before you run for the nearest bucket, that wasn't a sycophantic attempt to try to ingratiate myself with our new chief executive, I'm not even sure if he reads this. I read his internal blog, and a jolly good read it is (that was deliberately sycophantic in a tongue in cheek sort of way) so it would be nice to think he reciprocates and reads mine, anyway as I was saying, I do enjoy what I do. That's not to say that if my balls came up this weekend I wouldn't be out of here before the ink dries on the cheque, come on, even I'm not that stupid, but it is the real world, we all have to work, so why not do something you enjoy.

One of the great benefits in a job like mine is doing something that really makes a difference. Recently we had the Dog Health Check and Micro Chipping days across the borough. I'm pleased to report that because of these events, over 180 extra dogs are now micro-chipped. It was a brilliant response, and certainly something we will look at repeating.

For the last few weeks it's been another rubbish summer weather wise, however the nights have been surprisingly warm, which of course means sleeping with the windows open (where appropriate). With this comes an increase in the complaints about dog barking at night. Look, if you own a dog, please don't let it cause a nuisance to other people. Just because you may not go to bed until the early hours of the morning, and insist on letting Fido out for a night time wee, doesn't mean that others aren't affected when Fido investigates a hedgehog scurrying across the lawn and decides to have a good bark at it. Think about other people; don't let your dog cause a noise nuisance at night.

Back to the loving my job bit. I think the diversity of it is a great attraction. Although I try to plan ahead, I never really know what's in store for me as I trudge my way through the maze of corridors and dark passages that lead to room 150, the home of the environmental response team. Yesterday for example, I attended a standard stray dog call. "Little terrier type dog on a farm" was all the information I was given.
On arriving, the farmer introduced me to this fluffy bundle of fun, who had been camping out under one of his trailers for the last few hours. "Hello little one" I said in my best Sharon Osborne voice, I find that pitch seems to work best with dogs.

One thing you learn very quickly doing this job is to read a dogs body language, it therefore became very apparent that this furry piranha fish of a dog was not going to give up without a savage fight. I can best describe its actions as a set of those comedy wind up false teeth, break dancing at double speed. OK this needs the special equipment, so I take my grab pole from the van and attempt to secure the dog that way.

After many attempts, working in a very confined space, it became obvious that my short pole would not do the job. Handing it to farmer, who willingly volunteers to stop the dog running out of the other side of the trailer; I fetch my even longer pole. Battle commences again with me kneeling in the dirt still trying to secure the dog under the trailer. After about ten minutes of this "cat and mouse" game, with me on the verge of implementing plan C, the dog is safely secured, not by me, the highly trained animal control officer, but by the farmer.

Whilst I was very grateful, and immediately took control of the dog, placing him securely in the van, it does make you spit when someone who was only trying to block its exit, actually did the job better than me. Still, there is one thing I'm grateful for, I hadn't at that point worked out what plan C was. I know it involved trying to find a cooked sausage from somewhere, but they aren't that easy to locate in the middle of a field, so please don't tell any one will you.

Finally, I notice my blog entries have a small official disclaimer at the bottom. Now I like this, as it clearly demonstrates that "what I write is what you get", without any censorship.

Please note, no animals, dog wardens or farmers were hurt in the writing of this blog.

"Who you gonna call..."

Sung to the tune of Ghostbusters...

"When you lose your dog, in the neighbourhood
Who you gonna call? The Council"
Isn't it a shame now that tune is playing in my head, all I can think of is a phone directory service.
So try this one to the same tune:
"In case you loose your dog, in the neighbourhood,
Wotcha gonna do? Mic-ro-chip".

Err, yes, we got there in the end, micro-chipping dogs is the subject of this dog blog.

Now I realise that it isn't a legal requirement at the moment to micro-chip dogs, but it really makes sense. If we find a dog that is chipped, we can return it directly to the owners without the need for a stay at the kennels. If a dog is stolen, it is at least traceable, therefore you can report your dog as stolen to the micro-chip data base, and at some point the chances are that the chip will be checked, it will flag up as a stolen dog, and appropriate action will be taken.

It is, in my opinion a "no brainer". If your dog isn't chipped, pop along to any of our PDSA health check days in Sittingbourne, Faversham, or Sheerness. As well as getting a free health check and advice; your dog can be chipped for just £5.00 including full registration.

The dates are as follows:

Sittingbourne, 29 July. Central Avenue.
Faversham, 30 July. Market Street.
Sheerness, 31 July. The Clock Tower.

All times are between 10.00 & 17.00.

"I don't believe it!!!"

Guess where we went last night, Harty Church. Mrs Dog Warden and myself visit this wonderful little place fairly frequently for personal reasons I won't go into here. It's another of Swale's little jewels that you really must have a look at.

The journey from the Leysdown road down to Harty is brilliant. We saw 9 hares, countless pheasants and quails, one peacock, a kestrel hovering over head, plus of course dozens of rabbits. I wonder how many places in the UK you can go and almost guarantee to see not just one hare, but loads of them.

The church itself, full name "The Church of St Thomas the Apostle", dates back to Norman times, and is said to be one of the remotest and smallest in Kent. Anyway, enough of the history lessons, it's a lovely place to visit. Last week they held the annual flower festival; the smell of Lillis and other flowers was fantastic as we walked into this beautiful old building. The grounds themselves are lovingly cared for offering wonderful views across the Swale, and we had the added bonus of a Thames and Medway Spritsail barge majestically making its way up river.

OK, have you got the picture in your mind now, so why bring it up here? Well I'll tell you why, smack in the middle of the immaculate church grounds was an enormous dog turd. Not an expression I would normally use in polite circles like this, but there it was, and when I say enormous, it was enormous. This was no terrier or any small to medium size dog; this was Hound of the Baskerville stuff. For goodness sake, this church is so remote someone took this dog there. There is no way on earth this person could not have been aware that the dog had fouled in the middle of the church grounds. All I will say to that dog owner, in a collective consciousness sort of way, is if you're not prepared to abide by the law regarding dog fouling, then you had better study the law of karma.

Just a quick reminder that Swale Borough Councils dog health check and micro-chipping days are nearly here. We, in partnership with the PDSA, will be in:

• Central Avenue Sittingbourne on the 29^th July (from 10am until 5pm),
• The Market Square Faversham on the 30^th July (from 10am until 5pm),
• Sheerness Town Clock on the 31^stJuly, (from 10am until 5pm).

Bring your dog along for a free health check and advice from the PDSA, and get it micro-chipped at the same time for just £5.00. Micro-chipping is safe and a simple way to ensure that if your dog gets lost or stolen, there is a far better chance of it being returned to you.

On a final note, to the person that allows their large dog to defecate beside my van, it really isn't a great idea. The clue is the words DOG WARDEN, plastered on the sides. If you have a little trouble reading the sign, here's some help:

D is for disgusting,
O is for obnoxious,
G is for get a grip,
W is for walkies,
A is for anger,
R is for really don't believe it,
D is for (I've already done that one),
E is for excreta or elephant size poo, and
N is for neglecting to clean up your dogs mess.

It's only a matter of time until I witness you failing to clean up after your dog, and when I do, you will receive a fixed penalty notice for £80, as will any person doing the same in Swale if witness by myself, one of our street wardens, enforcement officers, or police community support officers. Better still, be responsible like the majority of Swale's dog owners, if your dog fouls anywhere, clean it up. There is no excuse, Scoop it, Bag it, Bin it.

The Things You See When You've Got a Dog

Goodness me, it’s been a while since I penned my last blog. Things have been rather busy, so although I’ve had lots to talk about, finding the odd five minutes to sit down and compose this twaddle, sorry informative information, has been a little difficult. Anyway, we are back by popular demand, so let’s get underway & see what happens.

I was going to chat about the whole “dog is for life, not just Christmas” thing, but remembered that I covered the subject fully in Blog 2 and to be honest, I don’t think I could better that well crafted and may I say rather amusing piece (in other words, I can’t be bothered to think up a new way of talking about it!)

What I will talk about this time is Star Fish. Nature is a wonderful, but strange thing. While walking our dog last Sunday on Shellness beach I was amazed to see hundreds of Star Fish being washed up on the shore line. Now you would expect to see the odd one or two as you stroll from Muswell Manor to the Hamlet, but not the vast quantity we witnessed being washed up with the flotsam & jetsam. A year or so back, we noticed the same thing with Cuttlefish bones, and also large quantities of cockles, spread over the beaches like vast sand dunes, certainly welly boot deep. So the question is, what is it that causes these apparent mass Echinoderm beachings? Is it self inflicted, or the result of some man made problem, muscle bed trawling perhaps, or maybe a sudden drop in sea temperature? If anyone knows please enlighten me.

So what’s this got to do with dogs then? Well I’m glad you asked, you see if I hadn’t been exercising our dog (responsible dog ownership) I would never have seen this quirk of nature. Although dogs are a huge responsibility, the benefits they give us far out way the draw backs. They enrich our lives in so many ways, for example, over the average life of a dog, if you walk your dog just two miles a day you will have walked a total of 10220 miles. Having said that, your dog will also have excreted roughly 1020kg of dog mess, so remember to take your doggie bags with you, and dispose of the contents in an appropriate manner. By the way, if those two things don’t come naturally to you, the walking and clearing up of the mess bits, then please buy a goldfish or some other less taxing companion.

I’ve spoken about this many times, and probably will many times more, dogs don’t cause problems, it’s the owners, so if you have a dog at home, sorry, it’s your responsibility to ensure the dog doesn’t do anything that can have an adverse effect on other people. For example, if next doors fence blows down in the wind, it’s still up to you to make sure your dog cannot escape from your property. If you’re out walking your dog on these dark evenings, it’s your responsibility to make sure you have a torch with you so you can see where the dog does it’s doodoo’s, and clear up after it. After all, it’s not that difficult to be responsible is it?

As a quick footnote, although I’ve only just restarted the “dog blog”, this is probably the last one in this format. From January the new “super dog blog” should be up and running, so watch this space.

Green fields and healthy dogs

As I was driving to work this morning, with the sun reflecting off the rolling green fields of crops lazily swaying in the slight morning breeze, it reminded me of what a lovely borough Swale is. It's very easy to buy into the criticism and negativity thrown at the borough, and in particular Sheppey, but the truth is, we live and work in a really lovely part of Kent.

Let's take Sheppey as an example. Yesterday I went for a stroll (technically I was patrolling) along the Fleet in Sheerness. I wonder how many people in Sheppey, or even Sheerness itself know the Fleet exists. It's a wonderful little waterway, full of wildlife and, thanks to everyone involved, nice and clean. Who needs a 42" HD plasma screen TV with Spring Watch, when you can sit down there for half an hour and get the real stuff for free.

How many people have bothered to watch the sun setting over the water off of Sheerness or Queenborough? Do people even realise that Swale if one of the few area's on the UK's east coast where you can see that marvellous site. The artist Turner knew, which is why he used the area as the location for "The Fighting Temeraire" (ok before you all retort; I know he put the sun on the wrong side).

The point I am stumbling towards here is that we live in a beautiful borough, fantastic countryside, miles and miles of beaches, historic market towns, the oldest brewery in England, the oldest Abbey in England, the birth place of aviation, and so the list goes on. Lets all work together to keep our borough sparkling clean. Yes, we do the best job we can in dealing dog fouling, litter and all of the other problems caused by a minority of residents or visitors, but by everyone taking personal responsibility and looking after their own little patch of Swale, and more importantly not adding to the problems, we really can make Swale a cleaner, safer borough.

And on a different note...

"Get your dogs micro-chipped here", and a free dog health check

Micro-chipping dogs really is a no brainer. It allows us to quickly return a stray dog to its owner. Swale Borough Council is working closely with the PDSA to improve the health of dogs across the borough. We have organised 3 dog health check days at the end of July 2009. They will be on 29^th July in Sittingbourne, 30^th July in Faversham, and 31^st July in Sheerness. The PDSA will be there to offer a free health check for your dog, and we will be there offering micro-chipping for just £5.00 per dog, with no limits to the number you bring along. Full details will be made available soon, so watch this space, and any other space I can 'blag' over the next few weeks.

Going Back in Time

Sometimes you do things that put problems into a different perspective, or make you think about things in a different light.

A few weeks ago I spent a very enjoyable evening with the Abbey W.I. (Women's Institute) in Minster. I was there as a guest speaker before you ask or assume otherwise. It was an interesting insight into a world that most men have absolutely no knowledge of, and we had a great time. Whenever I do these talks I deliberately never have a script, just a few key points that I want to get across and sort of make it up as I go. I find this makes for a more interactive chat, and gives me the flexibility to adapt and ad lib depending audience reaction.

The subject inevitably got around to dog fouling, as it always does. Regular readers may notice that I bang on about this topic whenever the opportunity arises, as it is a personal beef of mine. I spoke about how I believe the local communities should help solve this problem by working with the council, and to remember that it's not me that goes around dropping this stuff everywhere, but usually someone living within the local area. I also mentioned that until it becomes universally unacceptable, much like smoking at work or on trains and buses, to allow dogs to foul and not clean up after them, the problem will continue.

One lady however raised an interesting point. She said that although she realises there is still a problem, it's much better now than it was years ago. She could remember a time when it was quite normal to see dogs roaming the streets, often running in packs. Dogs mess on pavements was far worse then, but each house holder, as a matter of course would take responsibility for their own bit of pavement outside of their house, and if affected by dog fouling, would get a bucket of water and simply clean it up.

Although my memories of growing up are clouded by the "long hot summers & clean streets in those days" syndrome, she is absolutely right. I can vividly remember my mother sweeping our bit of pavement at least once a week, polishing the door step, keeping the rain gullies in the pavement clear of dirt and weeds, and simply making sure our house, right up to the road was spotless. Mind you, I can also remember Mr Wood the baker delivering bread, and the National School behind Trinity Church in Sheerness, so I do go back a long way.

I'm not suggesting that we can or should return to those days, and obviously if we did it would be a joint operation between Mrs Dog Warden and myself, "one supervising and one doing", but it does make you think if everyone did their own little bit each week (I am sure many people already do), what a difference it would make to the whole borough.

If you are one of Swale's responsible dog owners

No it's true, don't read this blog entry because it's not aimed at you. Today dear blog reader, I am talking directly to the minority. In fact judging by the feed back I get when chatting to dog owners around Swale, the people I'm talking to today don't even exist. It could even be argued that late at night or early in the morning the "dog poo fairy" visits our parks, roads and beaches and spreads the piles of do-do everywhere and it's not dog walkers at all, because everyone I speak too always cleans up after their dog, and always has pockets full of bags to prove it. To be honest, I'd rather see bags full of dogs mess than pockets full of bags, but at least the intention is correct.

OK, there is no "dog poo fairy", so there are a few people out there in Swale who happily allow their dog to foul all over our lovely borough, and care nothing for the effect it has on others. Well you obnoxious irresponsible thoughtless mindless uncaring selfish disrespectful self centred antisocial canine exercisers, we know you are out there, and everyone else is sick and tired of you messing up our Swale.
Take a walk in any of our parks, or any open place you can think of, and the evidence of your lack of respect for the majority of Swale's residents is clear to see, or even tread in.

Of course the council have systems in place to tackle this problem, but there will always be a short period before we can get out to deal with it, and to be honest, in this day and age the last thing we should be spending your money on is clearing up dogs mess. For goodness sake, take a bag with you, clear it up yourself, and don't give me the "I pay my council tax" line, because so do the responsible owners, and also dog wardens for that matter.

Why should we all pay to clean up after your dog? Frankly if you're not responsible enough to clean up your own dogs mess, I would strongly question whether you are responsible enough to own a dog in the first place. Oh and don't forget, the dog warden (me), street wardens, enforcements offices (they are harder to spot as they don't wear uniforms) and Police Community Support Officers, will all issue on the spot fines if the offence is witnessed, no excuses.

What's worse, being responsible and doing your bit to keep Swale clean and safe, or an £80 fine? I feel it's also fair to point out that you shouldn't rely on the idea that the council only works office hours; between us we are out and about 7 days a week, and also at very unexpected times of day.

As a final tip to habitual offenders, we are receiving an increasing number of calls from members of the public reporting dog fouling they have witnessed, so it's not just the various authorities who are watching and we will take appropriate action where we can.

Do you know what, I would much rather chat about funny things that have happened during my busy working days, but all the while we still have this problem, I will continue to bang on about it.

If you are a responsible dog owner, didn't follow my earlier advice and have read this far, then you can help by providing information that could assist in helping us solve this foul problem!

Dangerous dogs!

There has been a lot of press coverage recently regarding dangerous dogs. The focus has again centred on Staffordshire Bull Terriers, and whether or not they should be classed as a dangerous breed.
Well, to tell you the truth I used to dislike Staffies, but having worked with all types of dogs for some period of time, Staffies give me fewer handling problems than most breeds; however, they are involved in more dog on animal attacks than most. They are by nature a very loyal dog and usually great with families. The problems they cause can almost certainly be traced back to us. It's people that create dangerous situations with dogs, not the other way round.

Would I be happy to leave my two month old grandson alone in a room with a Staffie, absolutely and categorically not! Would I leave my two month old grandson alone with my lovely little, soft as anything Jack Russell cross Chihuahua, absolutely and categorically not! But why not? She has never hurt a fly, is never naughty, exceedingly well trained, and not classed as a dangerous dog. Why not? Because she is a dog!!!!
Show me someone who can claim their dog is 100% safe and I'll show you a misguided dog owner. Every domesticated dog on the face of the earth today is a "wolf in pets clothing". Fido is ninety percent wolf, and until people start realising that simple truth, we will continue to have dog problems.

I know different breeds of dogs have different characteristics, but that have only developed because of the way they have been bred. For example, Border Collies make fantastic sheep dogs. They have been bred to have great stamina and the natural herding instinct is channelled to do a job of work. But every Border Collie has to be trained to become a sheep dog; some natural instincts are subdued, while others are harnessed to do the job. Put an adult untrained Collie in a field of sheep and the results would be horrific.
Dogs come in many shapes and sizes, but they are all the same species. All dogs are descended from the wolf, and retain the same basic instincts. The secret in training them is to understand that, and to stop trying to humanise them.

OK, lets get back to Staffordshire Bull Terriers, are they a dangerous dog? As I said earlier they are known to be very loyal and can become great family pets. But let's not forget that the breed was developed in or around the seventeenth century as a fighting dog, they have very strong jaws with scissor like bite. They are very muscular and have a high pain threshold, so when they cause trouble, it's big trouble. The only reason they are more dangerous than some breeds is because we designed them to fight, it's not their fault, it's ours. The ironic thing is that some owners use them to intimidate people as they think owning a Staffie makes them look tough. Well hello!!!! If they understood the dog, they would realise that a Staffie by nature is a big softy around people."

So what's the conclusion? Well in my opinion, all dogs, in the wrong situation are potentially dangerous. It all gets back to responsible dog ownership. If you own any dog, be responsible, understand how it thinks, and never forget its instincts are based around the wolf pack, from where it originated.

I will in future posts explain a little more about how understanding the pack mentality of dogs can solve a lot of problems they cause.

Water skiing in mud

One of the reasons I enjoy this job so much is that you never know what the day will throw at you. As I enter the building each morning, making my way through the labyrinth of dark corridors in Swale House that lead to the home of the environmental response team, room 150 (strangely, although I have looked many times, I can't find a room 101), I ponder on whether the day will turn out as planned.

The other day for example, I received a call that a lady had found a Labrador straying in a field on the outskirts of Sittingbourne. Off I go in my little dog van in search of the absconding pooch. After looking for a while, I find no trace of the lady or the dog, so I pull over and give her a call, hands free of course. "I'm in the top corner of the field next to your van" she tells me. "the dogs very strong, so I'll wait here for you". Well I looked all over but couldn't see her, I mean, I know my eye's aren't what they used to be, but it's only my close vision that's not so good. Actually, if I forget my glasses, the only way I can read print now is to squint my eye's look through my bushy eyebrows. The light seems to refract through the hairs and for whatever reason allows me, if I move my head from side to side, to read things quite clearly.

 Anyway, my long vision is great, after all, on a clear night I can see the moon, how much further do I need to see! Finally I spot a white speck on the horizon which turns out to be the lady waving one arm in the air trying to attract my attention. I park my van & grabbing my trusty lead, begin to trudge up the grassy side path of this freshly ploughed field.

Note to self, there is no point in being issued with Swale Borough Council Wellies if you leave them under your desk.

After a brisk trudge, I arrived at the kind lady, and thanking her for her help in catching the dog and ringing us, bend down to make friends with the exceptionally large yellow Labrador. What a beautiful animal, I really haven't seen many this big, but he was very friendly and happily allowed me to put the lead on his collar.
Holding the lead in my right hand, and still facing up hill, I stood up to again thank the lady for her help. "Bonzo" (real name omitted to protect the innocent) who was obviously bored by now, took off down the field at full lick. This caused the old dog warden to spin through 180 degrees and follow. The first 10 feet or so I dug my heels in attempting to slow him down. This had no effect at all but to give the impression that I was water skiing across the grass.

Realising that I should deploy plan B, I started to run, but now we were both heading for the freshly ploughed part of the field. It's amazing how much thinking time you can cram into a few seconds, and it became apparent that I would soon be knee deep in mud at best, or dragged across the field face down at worst, so I did the only I could think of at the time and let go.

Momentum however continued, and I ended up running, with arms flaying about like a windmill, in the ploughed field, although fortunately managing to stay upright. "Bonzo", realising he had won, stopped and walked back to the path and stood there waiting for me. The kind lady who had been observing this, offered to walk the dog to the van for me, obviously uncertain of my dog handling skills. "It's fine, thank you very much" I replied, he just caught me off balance. Again thanking her, I took "Bonzo's" lead in my left hand, and with a very firm grip of my right hand on the lead about a foot from his collar we started the down hill walk to the van. I have to say that as soon as he realised I was in charge, he walked to heal very well.

Arriving at the van, I opened the back doors and made my usual 'hupp' sound, indicating I wanted him to jump into the cage. This was really when our eye's met for the first time. As I was saying "Hupp Hupp, come on, good boy, there's a good boy, up you get, come on hupp hupp" etc, he sat there with an "I'll tell you what, you get in the cage and I'll drive" look in his eye's.

Undeterred, I used my many talents, well a handful of dog biscuits actually, and "Bonzo" obligingly jumped into the van where he was scanned for a microchip. Bingo, "Bonzo" was micro-chipped and swiftly returned to his grateful owner. The only real point to this blog entry is to demonstrate what a fun job this can be, and to show that getting your dog micro-chipped is really worth it!

Chips with everything

I love chips, no it's true and in my opinion the perfect chip has to be made properly. Firstly it's important to select the correct potato. I won't mention any names as I don't want to appear to be promoting any particular brand or type. What I want is a nice floury spud, peeled and par boiled for a few minutes (until you can see the starch bubbling), drained well, straight into hot sunflower oil, and cooked until crispy and golden, fantastic!

Not that I've had them for years of course, I well remember the day when, with the onslaught of my way past middle age spread, the lady who keeps the dog warden sane despatched the deep fat fryer to that vast recycling centre in the sky. We do, as a special treat sometimes have oven chips, but they're not the same, they taste sort of fake. I've never tried the ones that get 'nuclearfied' in the microwave, after all, a microwave is just for defrosting frozen food and cooking jacket potatoes isn't it, but the day may come when I get converted to micro chips.

Let's hope the same applies to all you dog owners. See how I did that, no one saw that coming did they! Yes dear reader, identification chips for dogs is on my mind today.  I really think it's a no brainer, if you own a dog get it micro-chipped. It's a simple cheap process, stays with your dog for life, and allows us to quickly identify the owner of a stray dog and return it to the owner.

It is a legal requirement for a dog to wear a collar and tag with contact details when in a public place, but if a dog escapes from a garden etc the chip is always with it. It's all part of responsible dog ownership ensuring your dog can be clearly identified if it ever gets lost or even stolen. As part of our ongoing, proactive campaigns to deal with dog problems, we are planning some special dog chipping events across the borough this year, so watch this space, check the local papers or look at our website where all will be revealed in due course.

However, in the meantime what would happen if your loving pooch went missing with no ID or micro chip. You may never see it again!!! If making sure your dog is micro-chipped and easily identifiable is too much bother, perhaps owning a dog is not for you. You might be better off just following the guidelines at the top of this blog, and sitting down in front of the telly tucking into a big plate of chippie chip chips instead.

Mop, bucket and gallons of disinfectant

"My dog's got no nose. How does it smell? ...Awful!!!!"

It's an old joke, but there is a point to the embarrassing start to this blog entry. Dogs can be smelly things. In fact, the smell of a dog can often give clues as to whether it is a loved pet that has just gone AWOL for half an hour, or a serial stray that nobody really cares about.

Anyway, smelly or not, they end up in the back of my van which then causes other odour problems. Not all dogs are good travellers, especially if they have just been fed. There is something about the dog warden van that causes Fido to leave its mark from both ends if you get my drift. Now obviously I'm well equipped with mop, bucket, water and gallons of disinfectant and can often be seen parked up at the kennels, swabbing out my cages (yes, all waste is disposed of in an appropriate manner). It does however have its advantages, as in times of urgent need, mine is the last van to be taken by any other members of the team because they've got an emergency to deal with.

So my plea today is aimed at anyone finding a stray dog. If you know we are on the way to collect the dog, please don't feed it. Give it water by all means, but leave the feeding until it reaches the kennels. It will survive for another hour or so, and any food you give it will probably end up on the van floor & all over the dog warden's sleeve, giving the dog no benefit at all. I thank you!!

It has always been my intention to write this blog as a slightly light hearted insight into the world of the Swale Borough Council Dog Warden. That is still my aim, however some things are so important, a light hearted approach would be inappropriate. So I am now putting on my serious hat.

Our out of hours stray dog collecting service received a call from a member of the public last Thursday evening reporting that a cross breed Staffie with 4 very young puppies had been abandoned in New Road Recreation grounds in Sheerness. Now, don't forget that last week was very cold. At the time they were found the temperature was about minus 2, but this young Staffie bitch, probably not much older than 15 months had been tied up to the park railings, with the puppies in a cage beside her. Without their mother's warmth, it's doubtful they would have survived for many hours at temperatures as cold as this.

Fortunately the story has a happy ending after the quick thinking of a member of the public took the dogs into their home for warmth and called our stray dog service. Gel Chidley, who was on duty that night, transferred the dogs straight to the kennels where they are now doing fine. We are investigating this matter as an offence under the animal welfare act 2006 has been committed, so if anyone has any information that may help us, please ring 01795 417850. All calls will be treated in the strictest confidence.

Festive cheer

It's that time of year again, the Wizard of Oz & Sound of Music on TV, everyone full of festive cheer and of course, "a dog is for life, not just for Christmas". We've all heard it before, and it forms part of our nation conscience like "clunk click every trip" or "nice to see you, to see you nice". But it's worth reminding everyone there is a real message behind the slogan.

Little Jonnie excitedly unpacks his new games console on Christmas morning. To him it's the best thing since sliced bread, (what was the best thing before sliced bread?) By March the evenings are getting lighter, Jonnie goes out playing football and the games consol is packed away under the bed. No harm done, just a few hundred quid down the drain.

Little Bertie excitedly gets his new puppy for Christmas. It looks just like the one in the toilet tissue advert, Bertie is over the moon, he calls it Rex and promises to walk it every day as soon as it's had it's jabs. By March the evenings are getting lighter, Bertie goes out playing football and Rex has been forgotten about. Rex used to sleep on Bertie's bed, but too many duvets were destroyed by dog wee, so Rex now sleeps in the garden, barking & howling all night. Mum & Dad did try leaving him downstairs, but Rex ate the sofa, removed every piece of skirting board, chewed up dads Girls Aloud DVD, and wasn't very selective about where he did his business. He's also grown from being a nice cute puppy to a long legged monster, acting a bit like a hyperactive Scooby Doo. It's OK though because ever since the letter from the council arrived saying there had been complaints about dog noise nuisance, Mum & Dad are trying to re-home Rex so, in Dads words "some other mug can look after the stupid thing"

They feel sad Rex has to go, but it's not their fault, after all they've done all they can. They both work hard every hour god gives. They can't take Rex out at weekends because he won't do what he's told & messes everywhere. When he barks at home they all shout "SHUT UP REX", but he just ignores them, plus he's a dirty dog and messes & wets indoors so he has to live in the garden.

Now I know that example seems a bit extreme, but it's based on real situations. The message is simple this Christmas, and indeed any time of year.

• If you are thinking about getting a dog as a pet, don't....... unless you are prepared to take on a huge responsibility.
• You can't expect a dog to act & think like a human. You have to start thinking like a dog to understand your pet.
• You have to be prepared to exercise it daily at the very least, making sure you take doggie bags with you.
• You have to have the time and commitment to train it correctly.
• You must come to terms with the fact that dogs are expensive things, food, vet bills, and kennel costs are just the tip of the iceberg.

Having said all that, dogs are wonderful things. It's us that cause the problems not them, so look after your dog properly and you'll have a great friend for years.
If you can't commit full time to a dog, buy the games console!

Dog fouling

" It's a funny thing, the thoughts that cross your mind. As I'm sitting here in the darkest corner of Swale House, the area inhabited by the Environmental Response Team, I'm thinking about dog fouling. Now there are plenty of other topics I could put to the forefront of my mind, but dog fouling is always there. In fact, judging by some of the complaints we receive on the subject, dog fouling is everywhere. Now, don't get me wrong, we welcome all calls reporting dog fouling, I'm not complaining about that, I just wonder why, that in this day and age of social conscience, do we still have this problem?

It is also sometimes perceived to be our fault. When I say "our", I mean the council. Now, the last time I checked, Swale Borough Council only owns two dogs, Big Biffer and Little Biffer. They both live happily in the cupboard near the photocopier, and only see the light of day on special occasions. So if it's not us, then who is responsible? Well, I firmly believe it's a very small minority of dog owners who are under the illusion that it does not matter, and nobody will catch them. Certainly there can't be anyone who isn't aware that's it's an offence not to clean up after your dog, but I assume some people believe that if no one is watching, then don't bother about it. Well, that couldn't be further from the truth.

Apart from "The Dog Warden", that's me by the way, our team of enforcement officers, street wardens, and also Police Community Support Officers are all able to issue fixed penalty notices if we witness a dog owner failing to clean up after a dog. We do have a zero tolerance policy in place, so be warned, if we see an offence being committed we will act in the appropriate manner.

So come on, if you are one of the minority dog owners who think its OK not to clean up after your dog, get a grip, it's antisocial, a dangerous health hazard, frankly just shows a total lack of respect for the area you live in, and of course is an offence. To make things easier, we are even giving away free "Dog Waste Bags" at the moment, so pop along to one our district offices and ask for some. Swale is a lovely diverse borough to live & work in, lets all work together to make it a cleaner & safer place.

As a small footnote, whilst writing this, I had to pop out on an urgent call. Now, maybe it was just my lucky day, or the angels who guide me through life were having a tea break, but I managed to attach a large clod of doggie doo-doo to the tip of my right boot. Ever concerned for our heath & safety, the boots Swale Borough issue us have very deep treads. I'll leave it to your imagination to work out what I've been doing for the last 10 minutes!!! So thank you very much to the irresponsible person who allowed their dog to do that without cleaning it up. "

Having said all that, dogs are wonderful things. It's us that cause the problems not them, so look after your dog properly & you'll have a great friend for years.

If you can't commit full time to a dog, buy the games console!